So far this year, I consider myself to have regressed, lacking the patience and ultimately courtesy I had 2 years ago. I'm not as confident, maybe not as eager, but I am still motivated to change this decline. I've read on societies that I admire, learned about Spartans (although disagreeing with many of their philosophies), Zulu's, Shaolin Monks (highly agreeing with all of their philosophies), Ninja and it all seems that they gather strength most from a kinship, training alongside one another. And I've always tried to better myself, following the one more independent approach I've learned from Samurai.I've wrote a list of habits to make and break over the summer, a list of 50 movies that build character to watch, and a pledge to take every day based off of Hippocrates and the 7 virtues of the Samurai. I've even become so obsessed that I've read up on fictional societies like the Sangheili (Latin for "I honor my Father's blood.") or Elites from Halo). I thought, the closest thing to one of these societies would be to join the military, and I certainly do not want to do the government's bidding. And a better approach, to join Yamakasi, which is even more difficult than joining the military perhaps. Finally, I'm stuck between many controversies in my mind.
If I become confident will I view myself as superior to others?
Should a traceur rely on independant strength rather than team strength?
Should I become a rather stiff person following all rules to better himself or be cool and laid back?
When I train should my mind be psyched up and confident or calm and focused?
After a month of these thoughts, I reached the conclusion; balance.
To choose a single side is much too radical, the ideal way to attain this discipline is to seek both confidence and equality, by independant strength and team strength, both rigid and disciplined and soft and understanding, both psyched up and confident and calm and focused.
So, does anyone else share similar goals as me? Because I am thinking of creating a well disciplined group to train alongside. To share and recieve goals and ideas.